"kingdom"
~~
Long ago in a far away land, there was a king who ruled all
of Cydonia. He was a strong and noble king. All of his subjects adored his
leadership and felt greatly protected. One day the king left his kingdom to
tend to matters in another kingdom far from home. He left his son, the prince,
in charge until he returned back to rule again. Little did the king know,
darkness was coming to the land and there would be no one there to stop it.
With the king gone, the kingdom became vulnerable to the
enemies hiding in the shadows. A dark lord from the kingdom of Darkshire heard
of the king’s leave of absence. He journeyed to the kingdom of
Cydonia to take advantage of this rare opportunity. He was met with much
resistance at the gates of the kingdom, but the soldiers were no match for the
dark lord's immense power.
The dark lord made it to the steps of the royal castle, but
was soon confronted by the king's son, the prince. The prince and dark lord
battled fiercely for what felt like days. In the end, the dark lord got the
upper hand on the prince. He cast a curse and sent the prince away to a pit of never-ending darkness.
With the prince gone, there was no one standing in the way of the dark lord and
his will to claim the kingdom of Cydonia.
Months after the epic battle, the king finally returned to
his homestead only to find ruins of the kingdom he once knew.
Infuriated, the king marched to the castle doors to find his queen. He found her being held
hostage by none other than the dark lord of Darkshire. The king was out of
options. He had to rescue his queen and escape the kingdom until he could
devise a plan to destroy the dark lord. The king used his wits to gain just
enough time to rescue his queen and escape before the dark lord could cast a
spell on them.
The king and queen quickly escaped to old castle ruins just
outside of the kingdom. There they began to devise a plan to avenge their son
and regain the kingdom. After hours of discussion, they decided they had no
other choice. They had to burn down their own castle in order to preserve the
kingdom. The dark lord was so vain of his achievement in conquering the kingdom he
would not notice the flames until it was too late.
The king and queen hastily made their way back into the
kingdom gates. They grabbed torches from the nearby stands and began to set fire to the wood support beams outside the castle gate. Eventually, the entire castle became engulfed in flames. Despite their hopes, the dark lord realized their plan and began to make his escape through the tallest window of
the castle. As he was flying away, lightning bolts from the sky appeared and struck the dark lord. He
fell dead to the ground. With the dark lord gone, his curse was lifted and the young prince returned to
his home from the pit of darkness. As the king and queen were reunited with their son, they were greeted with cheers of joy by their subjects. The king and queen returned to their thrones and ruled the kingdom in peace for the rest of eternity.
AUTHOR'S NOTE
My original story was based off a story by Dutton titled The Sparrows and the Snake. In the original story, there lived two sparrows in a nest. I decided to change the sparrows into a king and queen living in their own kingdom. I felt that made the story a little more interesting. The two sparrows had a young hatchling. While the father was gone from the nest, a snake ate the hatchling. So, in my original I made the snake a dark lord. I believe that snakes convey evil characters. Also, I made the hatchling the prince of the kingdom. Instead of the dark lord eating the prince like in the original plot, I had him banish the prince to a different dimension. In the end of the original, the two sparrows decided to burn their nest down in order to kill the snake. The snake realized what was happening and tried to escape, but was later killed by the human who lived at the house. I kept the aspect of burning down the nest (kingdom). I also thought this was an interesting way to incorporate God into the story. The lightning from god that killed the dark lord could be considered the human who killed the snake.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
This was a good story, and I really liked the way you changed characters and such around from the original. There were a few things that I thought you could throw your own touch to. Although there wasn't any dialogue between characters, the story read smoothly. If there was a longer word limit, that would have been no problem for you to add, and I would have liked to see more detail and dialogue with the fierce battle between the son and dark king. I would also have loved to see how you described and visually made that battle. You are obviously a fan of fantasy stories, based off your picture, so your take on detail would have been great to read.
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