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The year was 1972 and everyone was inside shopping for
Christmas gifts. Malls across America were filled with people day in and day
out. Some people were there to buy gifts, some people were there to watch the
havoc, and some people… well... some people were there to MAKE money. Charles
Upari was a man there to make money. Charles was the owner of every major mall
chain in America. He had no ties to any religious faith and focused solely on
his company. Charles was born into a wealthy family and lived like a king ever
since he was young boy. He was the richest mall owner alive. Charles
would travel all across the country to meet with many fellow businessmen to
further his brand. Like every young, successful businessman, Charles had an
affinity for beautiful women. He would spend his days meeting with his fellow
business partners and his nights... well... you get the picture. Woman after woman,
business trip after business trip it would always be someone or somewhere new. This was the life of Charles Upari.
Charles was set to sail off on his first business trip outside of
America. He always enjoyed boats and being on the water, so he opted for a ship rather than a plane. He was very excited at the possibility of expanding his brand to other
nations. On his way to the boat he noticed a women fishing near the docks.
Charles being the uncontrollable swine he is, approached the woman and spoke
with her. After a couple of hours trying to sway her into coming with him on
the boat, she finally agreed to follow Charles and accompany him on his trip. Charles bought an extra seat for her on the ship and they set sail right away. The trip turned from business work , into a honeymoon.
Charles had finally met someone who he thought he had truly fallen in love
with. Soon after the couple returned from their trip overseas, they parted ways
to return to their families for the holiday. Little did Charles know, he
would be receiving an unexpected present for Christmas this year.
The day
after Christmas Charles received a letter from his last lover stating she was
pregnant with twins. Shocked by the news, Charles rushed to consult her
about the situation. Charles devised a plan
for the children. He decided he would take the son, and the woman could keep the daughter. Charles needed an heir for his business and two children would be
too much of an undertaking with his busy work schedule. The woman agreed to
his deal, due to her lack of power against him.
Many
years passed since the children were split up from birth. The boy and the girl were in their late teens. The boy was always a very curious fellow and snooped
around his father's office pretending to be like him. One day, Charles forgot to lock a box full of
legal papers about the siblings. The boy, being the little snoop he is, found
the box and discovered he had a sister he had never known. Infuriated by his
father's actions, the boy set out to find his sister and rekindle their bond.
When the boy found his sibling, he was surprised to find her pregnant and
alone. The man she had fallen in love with had left her to take care of the child, just like their father did to their mother. The brother, not wanting to be the same man
Charles was, stayed and helped raise his sister's child. Through the help of
his uncle and mother, the child grew up to be a famous author.
AUTHOR'S NOTE
I based my story off of the birth of Vyasa. In the original story there is a king who impregnated a fish by flying over a river. His original name is Uparichara, but I flipped it around and made it into a modern name. This fish ended up birthing twins, a boy and a girl. The boy was taken by the king and the girl stayed with a local fisherman's wife. The girl eventually met a sage and they birthed Vyasa. Instead of a king I made him a rich businessman. I felt like a rich businessman would depict a king in a more modern way. Also, rather than using a fish, I made the mother a woman who was fishing by the docks. I thought the fact the king impregnated a fish was a very odd part of the story. I figured I would keep some aspect of that in my story as well. I also made the story more about the King's life rather than the Vyasa's mother, unlike the original. I went into a good amount of detail with Charles (king) and did not spend as much time explaining his children and the daughter's child. In the original, the brother served no real purpose. However, in my rendition of the original I made him a vital character to the plot.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Public Domain Edition, Mahabharata, Part A Reading
This is an interesting story! I thought at first that it was paralleling Rama and Sita's relationship but I like that you based it off of a different story. I liked that you made the story in more modern times as well because your characters really fit into that busy lifestyle. Your story is great- keep up the good work! I hope to read more of your stories this semester!!
ReplyDeleteThis story was very well-written and nicely done! I really liked your modern twist on an old Indian epic. Everything was pretty straight forward, and the story itself was incredibly interesting! You could definitely make this into a real short story or even a novel! A few questions though: Why 1985? Was there a specific reason you wanted to set your story in that year? Or was it a random choice?
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your story! I liked the modern twist that you had to it. I also liked that instead of a fish that you still incorporated a fish into it somehow. Making the mother fishing by the docks. Most stories I read are set to today, I did like that yours was modern but still in the old days. I think my favorite part was that the child grew up to be an author. This gives room for so much more to continue onto. Overall, great story!
ReplyDeleteI was really interested in this part of the story when I read it as well! I found it bizarre that a fish got impregnated then gave birth to human children. I like your take on this. You made it more modern and easier to relate to. I think that that is important to do so that the reader can have a modern version of a very old story! Great job!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story about Charles and the birth of his twins. I liked the background and detail you added to the meeting of Charles and the mother of his children. I found the story of Vyasa didn’t give much background on the king and the fish so I really enjoyed reading your characterization of those characters as portrayed in your story. When I began reading the story I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, if they would fall in love and be together but I liked the realistic aspect of having to return to their families. Something to consider, when revising my portfolio, I have chosen the paragraph length revision challenge and I think breaking down long paragraph into several shorter ones makes reading online simpler. It is a simple and effective way to improve an online story. I thought your version of the birth of Vyasa was really well written!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this story. My favorite part was how there was a bit of a mystery about the love story, and the Christmas present. Your story made me want to continue reading to see what happens! I wanted to know what the Christmas present could possibly be, and if their honeymoon turns into a marriage. I did wonder about the twin girl. I wanted to know a little bit more about her in your story, and how life for her was. You could include a little paragraph about her life if you wanted, but I loved the story! I could picture what Charles was like very clearly with how you wrote the story. I also like the image you included of the black and white businessman. It allowed me to create an image of Charles myself. I also really liked how it flowed into years after the twins were separated. Making your main character a businessman instead of king was a unique twist.
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